A Glitch in Time, Part 1

MONA THE VAMPIRE LXIV: A GLITCH IN TIME
By Jake Collins

Mona stormed into the dorm room and threw herself down onto her bed, causing Fang to shift his position pointedly.
  "That's the last time I go to a stupid costume party!" Mona declared peevishly.
  "You didn't enjoy it, then?" Lily asked idly, not looking up from her laptop.
  "No, I didn't!" Mona fumed. "I'm never going to anything organised by that two-bit Students' Union again – everyone on this campus is an idiot!"
  "What makes you say that?" asked Fang. "I thought you quite enjoyed that quiz night they organised last week."
  "Well, yes, I did," Mona admitted grudgingly. "But I didn't enjoy the costume party!"
  "The quiz night was really fun," Lily smiled wistfully, looking up from her work. "What was wrong with the party, Mona? I would've come with you if I didn't have to finish this essay by tomorrow morning. Did I have a lucky escape?"
  "Yes, you certainly did!" Mona said with feeling.
  "But what was so terrible about it?" Fang pressed.
  "Well," Mona sighed, "you know how I went as a vampire…"
  "Of course you did," Lily giggled. "You've got a built-in costume!"
  "Yes, and everyone kept asking me if I like Twilight!" Mona spat angrily. "Can you believe that? I liked vampires way before vampires were cool, way before those crappy books were written, and now all those stupid fangirls see me dressed as a vampire and just assume…"
Mona tailed off as she noticed that Lily and Fang were both laughing. She frowned slightly.
  "It's not funny!" she shrilled indignantly. "Some trend-following airhead asked me if I thought Bella should end up with Jacob! I don't know who Jacob is, I don't want to know who Jacob is…"
  "I think he's the werewolf," Lily giggled. "But really, Mona, you shouldn't let it upset you. Surely you can see how it's funny… just a little bit funny?"
  "Yeah, well, I guess it's a tiny bit funny," Mona admitted, smiling slightly. "But not very funny! Oh, I don't have time to lie around worrying about this – I have to print off my notes for tomorrow."
Mona hauled herself to her feet and crossed over to her laptop. Lily touched her arm reassuringly.
  "Twilight won't be cool forever, Mona," Lily assured her. "You'll get your unique identity back someday."
  "Anyway, aren't these girls a little too old to be into a kids' book?" Fang pointed out. "Surely they must form a minority group of social outcasts?"
  "Don't you believe it," Mona snorted. "Twilight is cool and that's all there is to it… damn, where did I put that file? Ah, here it is…"
  "Is this the presentation you're doing about that wish-granting demon?" asked Lily, peering over at Mona's screen. "Wow, that sure is a long PowerPoint presentation."
  "Professor Craven is gonna love this!" Mona grinned, her bad mood apparently forgotten. "This demon presentation is worth twenty-five per cent of our mark for this year, and I just bet everyone else will've done theirs about evil demons, because that's what you think of when someone says demon – evil! But my demon is a kind-hearted guy who grants a wish to anyone who summons him. I bet the Prof wasn't expecting any presentations about someone like him!"
  "Oh yes, and we know how important it is for you to please the good Professor, Mona," Lily teased. "You and he are just the best of friends, aren't you?"
  "Shut up," Mona laughed, slapping Lily on the arm in mock annoyance. "I find him interesting because he knows a lot about folklore and mythology, and he finds me interesting… well, for the same reason, I guess. That's all there is to it."
  "Come on, Mona, you know what these college professors are like," Lily giggled. "He's probably hoping you'll come up to him after class one day and say, Oh, Professor, can I come by your study this evening and talk through this essay with you? I'll wear something pink and tight…"
This time Lily received a playful punch, which only increased the volume and intensity of her laughter.
  "Look, maybe your tutor is like that," Mona frowned, "but mine isn't!"
  "Excuse me, Mona, but if you'll allow me to divert your attention back to what you were saying a few moments ago, I'm not sure this benign demon of yours can really be so generous as you profess," Fang cut in. "You can't get something for nothing in this world… or any other world, for that matter. There has to be a price, Mona – you know that."
  "Hmm, yeah, I guess you're right," Mona nodded. "The book doesn't mention a price, but yeah, there has to be one…"
  "Like the summoner's soul," Lily suggested, "or their firstborn child…"
  "Yes, I'd better add that in at the end," Mona decided. "We don't want anyone getting hold of my notes, calling this demon and sacrificing their soul, do we? That would never do!"

During the seminar the next morning, Mona spent the best part of two hours sitting through the presentations of most of her classmates, none of which interested her that much as she had heard or read about all the demons they had chosen several times before. As she had suspected, the subjects of the presentations were all evil, or at least more than a little mischievous. She spotted several inaccuracies that she would have loved to jump up and correct, but she managed to hold back, not only because such an action would have been incredibly rude, but also thanks to the fact that most of her fellow Folklore and Mythology students already resented her obvious expertise in the subject.
  "Well, we'd best stop there for today, for time is about to catch up with us once again," Professor Craven announced, after ten students had given their presentations. "We'll hear the three remaining presentations tomorrow morning. Until then, you are free to go. Oh, and remember, if you can't resist the urge to try summoning one of these colourful characters we've been hearing about, don't forget to have your banishing bell handy – you may well find yourself in need of it!"
A ripple of appreciative laughter passed through the gathered students, followed closely by the scraping of chairs and the ever increasing hum of light chatter.
  "Thank you all for sharing your enthralling presentations with us," Professor Craven added, as his students started to file from the room, "and I'm looking forward to hearing what the rest of you have to say tomorrow more than you can imagine… speaking of which, Miss Parker, if I might have a word with you before you leave?"
Mona detected a few resentfully disapproving noises from her classmates, although Professor Craven apparently remained oblivious. Thinking back to what Lily had said the previous evening, Mona could not help but imagine herself in a pair of pink hotpants as she approached the waiting professor. Smiling disbelievingly, she cast the unbidden image aside, and resolved not to let it enter her mind again.
  "What can I do for you, Prof?" she asked.
  "It's always such a fascinating experience for me, hearing these end-of-semester presentations," said Professor Craven. "It really lets me know which of my students are just coasting through this course, and which have the potential to make a real impact on the world of Folklore and Mythology academia. We'll be starting with your presentation tomorrow, Mona. You may be wondering why I didn't ask you to present today. The reason is that I do not want your particular lecture to be cut short by time constraints, or absorbed into the never-ending sponge of information about evil red devils, all of which I've heard so many times before. I was reading your notes just now, and I think your presentation is going to be something very special."
  "You mean you were reading my notes while the others were presenting?" Mona asked in surprise. "Isn't that a bit unprofessional?"
  "I got the measure of all ten of today's presentations within the first thirty seconds of their commencement," Professor Craven stated. "I was listening with half an ear, of course, but I didn't hear anything I haven't heard a thousand times before. I've been lecturing here at the University of Illinois for more than thirty years, Mona, and it's not often that I hear something new and exciting… but I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be one of those rare and wonderful days!"
  "Look, Professor, I'm sure my presentation won't really be any better than anyone else's," Mona blushed. "I know you think I can do really well on this course, but I'm just like any other student, really."
  "No, Mona, you're not!" Professor Craven declared. "No one writes about the world of the supernatural like you do. You excite me a great deal!"
Mona coughed awkwardly, and tried to force Lily's giggling tones out of her head.
  "You've complimented me on the quality of my written English before, Prof," she pointed out.
  "Yes, but that's only a part of what makes reading your work such a wonderful experience for me!" Professor Craven declared. "You write – and speak – about these things with such… authority. The others treat them as fairytales – nothing more than dreams and fancies to be laughed off and forgotten about when class is over – but you, Mona… it's almost as though you have seen these things for yourself… as though you know them to be solid facts!"
  "But I thought you didn't believe in monsters," Mona pointed out.
  "I believe in you, Mona," Professor Craven confessed. "I believe you're someone very special."
  "Yeah, well… thanks," Mona said awkwardly. "Can I go now?"
  "Of course!" Professor Craven beamed. "I can't wait to see what you come up with tomorrow!"
Mona left the lecture hall feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

Lily looked up from her cheese on toast as Mona entered the dorm room.
  "Did you do it?" she asked. "Your presentation, I mean."
  "No, I didn't," Mona confessed, as she settled down at her laptop. "Professor Craven says he wants to save it for tomorrow, because it's going to be so good."
  "Ooh, teacher's pet or what?" Lily giggled.
  "Please don't start that again, Lily," Mona sighed heavily. "All the time he was talking to me, I couldn't stop thinking about all those silly things you were saying last night. Now I'm slightly worried…"
  "That he wants to dress you up like a schoolgirl and spank you with a ruler?" Lily suggested glibly. "Ooh, come to think of it, that's not such a bad…"
  "Do you think you could rope in your perverted suggestions and let me concentrate for a moment?" Mona smiled wryly. "I'm trying to check my e-mails."
  "Anything interesting?" asked Fang.
  "Just something from my mom," Mona reported. "Aunt Delores is worried that Dottie's pregnant and doesn't want to tell her… hmm, I don't think that's very likely…"
  "Hmm, I don't know," Lily mused, "I think she and George have been spending a lot of time together in her dorm room, from what she was saying on MSN the other night… a lot of time, if you know what I mean…"
  "That's the newfound freedom of leaving home for you," Fang chuckled.
  "Melvin's been suspended from school for putting a staple through his teacher's finger… hmm, I can't really imagine that he did that on purpose," Mona frowned. "Anyway, Aunt Pat's having kittens about that… my dad had to go round to your house at one o'clock this morning, Lily, to tell your parents their rowing was keeping the whole cul-de-sac awake."
  "Oh God, that's so typical," Lily remarked dejectedly. "I hope my mom didn't clock my dad on the head with a frying pan again."
  "And my mom is organising some repairs on the house… oh my God, she says they're having the roof repaired and it's gonna cost eight thousand dollars!" Mona exclaimed.
  "Whoa, that's one hell of a roof repair!" Lily remarked.
  "I guess so, but you've gotta have a working roof, haven't you?" Mona reasoned. "Apparently all that snow we had recently dropped through this big hole and ripped through the roof felt, and it's shown up all this existing damage! Jesus…"
  "Ah well, it looks like things are continuing as normal back home, then," Fang remarked. "That's always good to know."

The next morning, Mona hurried along to the lecture theatre at top speed. Despite her slight sense of unease about Professor Craven's special interest in her, she was still keen to show him a presentation that would blow his socks off. Rounding a corner, Mona saw Amber Rose Brown scurrying along the corridor with a pained expression on her face and a huge tower of books and folders in her arms. As Mona opened her mouth to vocalise a greeting, Amber suddenly dropped her bundle with a terrific crash. Cursing and complaining, she stooped to pick everything up. Mona came over to help.
  "Why are you in such a hurry, Amber?" she asked.
  "I'm late for a lecture and I haven't done this essay properly, and I'm probably gonna flunk the whole class!" Amber wailed. "Why did I leave everything 'til the last minute? I had to force myself to stay up 'til four o'clock this morning to get all my footnotes sorted! I'm never gonna pass this course!"
  "I'm sure everything will be fine, if you start organising your time a bit," Mona said encouragingly, helping Amber to balance her pile and hoping fervently that she wasn't sounding preachy.
  "Yes, you're right, that's exactly what I need to do," Amber sighed. "I've been partying too much and studying too little, that's the problem. I really have to sort myself out!"
  "Well, it's an easy trap to fall into, isn't it?" Mona cooed sympathetically. "You're away from home for the first time, there's all these exciting new people and places…"
  "That's exactly it," Amber nodded. "You sound like you know what you're talking about, Mona. Have you been partying too hard as well?"
  "Um, well, no, not really," Mona confessed, "but I did go to a costume party the other night when I really should have been finishing off some notes for class."
  "You see," Amber sighed, "even a good girl like you can't help but get drawn into the wilder side of college life at the expense of her studies…"
  "I'm not that good," Mona grinned. "In fact, at times, I'm definitely a bad girl…"
  "Oh, I'm sure you are," Amber giggled. "Oh dear, Mona, sometimes I wonder whether this whole college scene is really for me. Maybe I should just go back to Baltimore, where every day's like an open door and every night is a fantasy… I was happy there."
  "Beware of rose-tinted spectacles, Amber," Mona cautioned. "You can't solve your problems by running away from them, you know."
  "Yes, I guess I found that out when I came to Chicago to run away from the very big problem of being stalked by Death," Amber nodded, "and any problems I'm having now aren't exactly on that scale… I'd better stick it out for a while and see what happens, I suppose… thanks, Mona."
  "No problem, Amber," Mona smiled pleasantly. "Hadn't you better be on your way? Didn't you say you were late for a lecture?"
  "Christ, yes I am!" Amber wailed. "Oh God, I'm gonna get kicked out at this rate…"
Amber hared off down the corridor, her bundle wobbling precariously once again. Mona smiled at her receding form for a while, before completing her journey along the corridor and entering the lecture hall.

The rest of the Folklore and Mythology students were already gathered in the auditorium, and some of them cast Mona poisonous looks as she walked past. As usual, Mona resisted the urge to glare back, and quietly seated herself a few rows away from the others. As Mona shuffled her notes to make sure that they were in the right order, and felt inside her skirt pocket for the twentieth time to make sure that the USB stick containing her PowerPoint presentation was still in there, the door at the back of the stage opened and an unfamiliar figure entered the room. He was obviously a professor, Mona decided – his tweed jacket and sensible shoes were dead giveaways. But there was absolutely no doubt that he was not Professor Fred Craven.
  "Ah, yes, all right then," the new arrival said, as he clipped a microphone onto the lapel of his jacket. "Well, here we all are. Good morning, students. It seems that your normal professor – Professor Craven, is it? - is ill, and I'm his replacement… I mean, I'll be substituting for him today. Now, I believe we have some presentations to see…"
Mona could not help but feel slightly disappointed. She had been dying to show Professor Craven her presentation, but now it seemed that he was going to miss it. He must have come down with a very serious illness, Mona supposed, as he had been so keen to see her presentation the previous day… something about the whole situation just did not add up, Mona decided.
  "Right, yes, this all seems to be pretty straightforward," the substitute professor remarked, as he leafed through Professor Craven's notes. "I suppose we'd best crack on, then…"
  "What's wrong with Professor Craven?" someone shouted out.
  "Oh, well, he, er… he's come down with something highly contagious," the substitute replied. "Don't worry, it's not serious, but he has to be kept in isolation for a while. Now…"
  "What's your name?" someone else demanded.
  "My name?" the stranger replied, as if this was the most surprising question he had ever been asked. "Well, it's Professor Schmidt… yes, that's my name, Professor Johannes Schmidt."
Mona frowned suspiciously at the self-professed substitute professor. He was young – mid to late twenties, Mona reckoned – and he had a very odd face. Not exactly ugly, Mona decided, but distinctly unusual. His English accent did not really match his name.
  "Now then," Professor Schmidt continued, "let's see about these presentations. It looks like we're starting with Mona Park… Mona Parker, is this right?"
Professor Schmidt scoured the lecture hall with sharp, searching eyes. Feeling distinctly ill at ease, Mona rose to her feet.
  "Yes, Professor, that's right," she ventured. "I am Mona Parker."
Professor Schmidt squinted at her for some seconds, and then a broad smile split his face.
  "Well, well, so you are," he beamed. "Come on up here, Mona, and enthral us!"
Entirely unsure what to make of this strange substitute, Mona took her place at the lectern and delivered her presentation. She noticed that several of her classmates were obviously intently interested in what she was saying, despite their best efforts not to be, which she could not help but feel slightly smug about. When she had finished, Professor Schmidt rose to his feet and gave her a round of applause, which some of the students joined in with half-heartedly.
  "Excellent stuff, Mona, ten out of ten!" the substitute beamed. "Brilliantly researched and engagingly delivered. Wonderful, stupendous, top class! I don't envy the student who has to follow that!"
  "Erm, thank you, Professor," Mona returned. "What's my mark, then?"
  "Hmm?" Professor Schmidt queried. "Oh, I see, I have to fill in a mark out of fifty in this little box… and I tell you what I'm putting, do I?"
  "That's what Professor Craven did yesterday," Mona informed him, reflecting that he was a particularly disorganised substitute.
  "Well, I'm giving you fifty!" Professor Schmidt declared. "Like I said, top marks! Now, let's see who's next…"
The two remaining presentations duly took place, and were awarded thirty-nine and forty-one by Professor Schmidt. When all the students were back in their seats, and looking expectantly at the strange man behind the lectern, an awkward silence descended upon the auditorium.
  "Right, yes, I suppose we'd better do something else now," Professor Schmidt said uncertainly. "How much time do we have left?"
  "About an hour and a half," said Mona.
  "An hour and a half?" Professor Schmidt boggled. "Hmm, well… okay, how about this? I'm going to draw a creature on the OHP, and we'll see if anyone can tell me what it is."
Mona and the rest of the class sat in strained silence for about five minutes while Professor Schmidt created his work of art in blue felt pen. Mona did not recognise the clawed, winged creature he had drawn, which surprised and annoyed her slightly.
  "What is it, then?" Professor Schmidt asked with a grin. "Anyone?"
Thirteen blank faces stared back at him.
  "No one?" Professor Schmidt asked disappointedly. "What about you, Mona? There's a Mars bar in it for you if you get it right."
  "I don't know, Professor," Mona confessed. "The bone structure is very strange – it looks basically human, but it doesn't look like a creature that would've come out of human folklore, because it's obviously got a completely alien skeletal structure."
  "Excellent observation, Mona," Professor Schmidt beamed. "You can have the Mars bar for that. This little fellow is actually a Krillitane… No one's heard of the Krillitanes, then?"
Again, he received only blank expressions in response.
  "Oh dear, I don't think I'm really cut out for this lecturing lark," Professor Schmidt sighed. "You can all dedicate the rest of the session to personal study… class dismissed."
Bemused but pleased, the students filed from the room. As she walked past the lectern, Mona saw a Mars bar thrust in front of her nose.
  "Take it," Professor Schmidt encouraged her, "you've really earned it."
  "Thank you, Professor," Mona smiled wryly, accepting the proffered item of confectionary. "If you don't mind my asking, is Folklore and Mythology really your field of expertise?"
  "Well, not really," Professor Schmidt admitted. "Not in the way you mean, anyway."
With that he all but dashed from the auditorium, leaving Mona to ponder his strange remark.

As Mona walked back along the corridor from the auditorium, taking occasional bites of Mars bar, she could not help but notice that something strange was going on. A heat haze appeared to have engulfed the far end of the corridor, yet such a thing was surely impossible in December, especially in Chicago! Soon Mona found herself walking alongside the shimmering walls, and staring up at the wobbling ceiling, which was a most disorientating experience.
  "This isn't right," Mona mused. "Something very weird is going on around here."
And then, quite suddenly, the shimmering stopped. The corridor was back to normal… except that it wasn't, because it was a different colour. The bright blue and white paint had been replaced with drab greys and greens, and the walls were peeling in several places. Mona realised that the temperature had risen by several degrees; she peered out of a nearby glass door to see bright summer sun beaming down on the leafy trees and lush green grass outside.
  "What the hell…" Mona muttered.
A group of students rounded a corner and barged past Mona, laughing and chatting as they went. Mona gaped in astonishment at their physical appearance.
  "Flares!" she exclaimed. "And mullets! What the hell is going on here?"
At a loss for anything else to try, Mona turned tail and ran back towards the lecture theatre. Again, her mouth dropped open in astonishment. The plush blue seats were now battered and red, while the interactive whiteboard had disappeared. There was, however, a very large blackboard spanning the wall behind the lectern, and a date had been chalked up in the top right-hand corner.
  "Monday July 13th 1981!" Mona shrilled in alarm. "Oh Christ, I must've gone back in time again!"

Completely bemused and with absolutely no idea what she was going to do next, Mona returned to the corridor. Clearly the wobbling effect had been indicative of some sort of time phenomenon… but that was all her brain could get to grips with at the moment. The sound of carefree laughter suddenly came to Mona's ears, as two figures rounded the nearby corner and started approaching along the corridor. Both were wearing shorts and t-shirts, and they were laughing and chatting together happily. Mona's eyes narrowed as she took in their features; one was male, the other was female, and Mona was fairly certain that she recognised them.
  "Oh, hey there," the girl smiled at Mona. "Are you a student here?"
  "Um, yes," Mona replied, reflecting that this would not technically be true for another twenty-seven years and two months. "You two aren't, though… I know you aren't!"
  "That's right, we're not," the guy beamed at her. "We're High School grads; we're here for the track and field meet."
  "Could you tell us where we're supposed to go?" asked the girl. "We're a bit lost."
  "Track and field meet?" Mona queried, all too aware that she was sounding like a simpleton. "I… I don't…"
  "I'm Steve Parker," the guy suddenly introduced himself.
  "And I'm Miranda West," added his companion.
  "Yes… yes, I know you are," Mona frowned. "You… you're pole vaulters, aren't you?"
  "Wow, how did you know that?" Miranda laughed.
  "Have you read some kind of list about the meet?" asked Steve.
  "Um… yes, something like that," Mona replied absently. "So… so you're Steve Parker and Miranda West, you're fresh out of High School, and you're here at the University of Illinois for an athletics event… is that right?"
  "That's right," Miranda smiled encouragingly.
  "But you never told me about…" Mona began to object, but she forced herself to swallow the rest of the sentence.
  "So, can you tell us where we're supposed to go?" Steve asked hopefully.
  "Well, I… I know where the running track is," Mona admitted.
  "Yeah, that's the place!" Miranda beamed. "Could you show us the way, please?"
  "Yeah… yeah, sure," Mona found herself agreeing.
  "Thanks," Steve beamed. "What's your name, anyway?"
  "It's Mona," she replied, electing not to go into any more detail.
  "Ooh, great name!" Miranda enthused. "Interesting and unusual – I wish I had a name like that."
  "I... I guess I'd better take you down to the running track, then," Mona said absently. "Follow me."
As she led the way towards the university's well-equipped sports arena, Mona reflected that this was the strangest situation in which she had found herself for quite some time. Not only had she randomly and inexplicably wandered into 1981, she had also come across her eighteen-year-old parents, who were seemingly at the University of Illinois for an athletics event. Yet they had never told her about this experience in their lives – had it just never cropped up in conversation, or was something even stranger going on than Mona had first imagined? She knew that she would have to find some answers very soon, although she had no idea how to begin going about such a task.

The athletics arena was full of High School graduates from many different places within a three hundred mile radius of Chicago, including some of Mona's parents' classmates. At a loss for anything else to do, Mona sat down on a grassy bank – in a roped off area that was labelled with the name of the High School which both she and her parents had attended – and started watching the athletics. A hurdles race was taking place on the running track just below the bank, while javelins were being hurled across the vast grassy area which the track surrounded. Sighing heavily, Mona placed her chin on her folded hands and tried to decide what she was going to do.
  "I'm completely lost and completely alone in 1981," she reflected, "and I've already interacted with my parents, which means I could potentially have screwed up the space-time continuum… but I don't think I can've done, really… still, I'd better stay away from them just in case."
But how could she possibly hope to return to her own time? For once, Mona was at a complete loss.
  "Do you mind if I sit here?" a nasal voice suddenly met her ears. "I mean, do you mind if I sit with you?"
Mona looked up to see a sandy-haired, bespectacled guy looming over her. Her eyes narrowed as a spark of recognition ignited in her brain.
  "You're Larry Ripton, aren't you?" she responded. "And no, I don't mind if you sit with me."
  "Thanks," Larry beamed, as he scrunched down beside Mona. "I don't remember seeing you around at school."
  "No, I don't go to your school… yet," Mona replied. "I'm a student here at the University of Illinois… kinda. My name's Mona."
  "Oh, right," Larry reacted. "How do you know my name, then?"
  "There's a list," Mona sighed wearily. "I've read it. There are photos."
  "I see," Larry accepted. "Did you help to organise the track and field meet, then?"
  "Yeah, sure, why not?" Mona shrugged. "I mean, yes… yes I did. Are you here to support Steve and Miranda?"
  "Everyone's here to support Steve and Miranda," Larry said bitterly. "They're the Golden Couple… everyone just loves them! Nobody likes me, though. 'Loser' Larry, that's what they call me."
  "Yes, I know," Mona cooed sympathetically. "It's very bad of them."
  "How could you possibly know that?" Larry boggled. "My derogatory nickname can't be on this list of yours!"
  "Um, well, it is," Mona said awkwardly. "But anyway, Steve and Miranda don't call you 'Loser' Larry, do they?"
  "They do," Larry said bitterly. "Everyone does!"
  "Oh, but they like you, really," Mona stated firmly. "I suppose it must be down to peer pressure."
  "Steve and Miranda are the worst of them all! They're so full of themselves, always winning awards for their stupid pole vaulting… I've won the school science fair seven years in a row! No one cares about that, though, do they?"
  "They do care about you, Larry… Steve and Miranda, I mean. They don't mean to upset you, really they don't!"
  "What do you know about Steve and Miranda?" Larry snorted.
  "Well, I know both of them a lot better than you might imagine," Mona grinned, "and I know that if you were to run out onto the field and congratulate them after they've jumped, they'd be really grateful and pleased to see you."
  "They wouldn't!"
  "They would."
  "They so wouldn't!"
  "They so would, really!"
  "D'you really think so?" Larry asked hopefully.
  "I know it for a fact," Mona said confidently. "Look, Miranda's about to jump now. After she's landed, why don't you run down there and congratulate her?"
  "All right, I'll do it!" Larry declared, jumping to his feet. "I will, I'll do it!"
  "Good for you!" Mona beamed at him. "Ah, here she goes…"
Mona watched her mother complete an expert pole vault, which was widely applauded amongst the spectators. Mona reflected that the experience of seeing her mother so carefree and full of enthusiasm was a somewhat unusual one, and she could not help but smile when she saw the jubilation and exhilaration on her mother's face. The smile disappeared, however, as Mona witnessed Larry Ripton running towards her euphoric mother, literally shouldering her bemused father aside as he did so. As Mona watched with mounting apprehension, Larry flung his arms around Miranda and kissed her on the cheek, leaving Steve looking somewhat forlorn.
  "Ooh," Mona winced, inwardly kicking herself. "I hope I haven't just done something really stupid… but I was right, my parents do like Larry, and I was just trying to make him feel better about himself…"
Mona watched as Miranda went to get a drink of watered-down orange squash, and Larry went with her. Finding herself unable to watch this worrying scene unfold any further, Mona scrambled to her feet and ran up to the top of the grassy bank, before heading back towards the university building. She entered one of the drably painted corridors and wandered along it, still at a total loss as to what she should do next. Rounding a corner and not paying attention to where she was going, Mona collided with a tweed jacketed figure. She staggered backwards a couple of steps, and looked up at the person she had crashed into with the intention of apologising. However, the apology never came, as Mona's mouth dropped open in astonishment, and her eyes widened to epic proportions. An exclamation of stupefaction burst forth from her lips.
  "Professor Schmidt!"

For several seconds, Mona could do nothing but goggle in disbelief at the mysterious substitute lecturer. This was definitely the same Professor Schmidt she had met in the lecture hall earlier that morning – or twenty-seven and a half years in the future – rather than an earlier version of him. He had looked barely old enough to have been around in 1981, and now he looked exactly the same, with the same tweed jacket and the same half-apologetic expression on his face.
  "Ah, there you are, Mona," he beamed at her. "I knew you had to be around here somewhere."
  "But… but… what are you doing here?" Mona demanded. "This is 1981! How did you get here? How did I get here? You did this to me, didn't you!"
  "I think you should come with me, Mona," Professor Schmidt said coolly. "There's something you need to see – something that will make everything clearer to you."
  "I'm not going anywhere with you until you tell me what the hell is going on!"
  "Okay then, I will. You walked through a time-slip on your way back from the lecture hall. A random occurrence, usually seen only once every few thousand years, and you just happened to get caught up in it. Just your luck, Mona, wouldn't you say?"
  "A time-slip?" Mona frowned. "Is that what that wobbling in the corridor was?"
  "That's right," Professor Schmidt nodded approvingly. "It's closed now, so you can't walk back through it, but…"
  "Well how did you get here, then?" Mona demanded. "And how do you plan to get back?"
  "If you come with me, I'll show you something that will answer both those questions," Professor Schmidt told her, "and it should also serve to make this whole situation a lot clearer to you."
  "All right," Mona growled, "I'll come with you… but not without taking precautions!"
Mona opened her mouth to reveal vampire fangs growing from her gums; she snarled viciously to underline the effect. To her surprise and annoyance, Professor Schmidt did not seem at all unnerved by the transformation, and only smiled in response.
  "Are you ready, then?" he beamed. "Follow me."
Brimful of suspicion and curiosity, Mona followed Professor Schmidt along several university corridors, down a set of concrete steps, and out into a staff parking lot, at the far end of which was a large shed containing several industrial-sized bins. Professor Schmidt led the way behind the shed, and gestured proudly at the tall blue cuboid structure that was standing there.
  "It's the TARDIS!" Mona exclaimed in surprise. "That means the Doctor must be around here somewhere!"
  "Mona, I…"
  "Don't try to confuse me any more, Professor Schmidt! The Doctor's around here – I know he is! – and he's just about the only person who can help me!"
  "Mona, I am the Doctor!" Professor Schmidt declared. "I thought you might realise that when I showed you the TARDIS."
Mona fixed her companion with a searching expression, and a disbelieving frown creased her brow.
  "You're not the Doctor," she said.
  "I really am, you know," he grinned back at her. "I told you I'd look different the next time we met."
  "Yes, but… but… you're not the Doctor!" Mona insisted.
  "Same old reaction every time," the Doctor sighed wearily. "Listen, Mona – I am the Doctor, you are Mona the Vampire Parker, and you are brilliant! The first time we met, you and your friend Lily had just stumbled across the TARDIS in a backstreet of your town. I appeared through the doors – with Rose – and I said, Hello, I wonder if you can help us. Are there any aliens around here?"
  "Hmm," Mona frowned. "Okay, I suppose you are the Doctor… I know you told me all about Time Lord regeneration energy, and you even left me a bit to play with, but I guess I wasn't prepared for…"
  "That's okay, everyone reacts that way the first time," the Doctor shrugged. "I'm still getting used to myself myself, if you see what I mean."
  "But… you're still you, aren't you?" Mona queried. "I mean, you can still remember what you did when you were the proper Doctor… I mean the last one… you remember us fighting Daleks at Cabrini Green, and you remember helping me to sort out that mess Danny Phantom made with that pistol of his…"
  "And I remember taking you to Jersey and investigating that haunted house, and I remember rescuing you and your friends from that castle," the Doctor assured her. "I remember everything, Mona… nearly a whole millennium's worth of everything… I'm still me, but now I'm a new me!"
  "Wow, this is really weird," Mona could not help but remark. "All right, Doctor, why were you masquerading as a substitute lecturer?"
  "Bit of a funny story, that," the Doctor laughed. "I just kinda fell into it… that happens to me a lot, as I'm sure you remember. The TARDIS detected a time-slip, so I decided to investigate. I found myself wandering around the halls of the University of Illinois in the year 2008, and someone mistook me for a substitute lecturer. Your Professor Craven left them a bit in the lurch, I think, and this hysterical woman in glasses saw me and assumed… well, I just kinda went with it, and then when I saw you in the class… well, that was a pleasant surprise."
  "You had no idea I was going to be there, then?"
  "Absolutely none. Our paths do just seem to keep on crossing, don't they? Anyway, I was going to look for the time-slip after class, and you went and walked straight through it! I saw you disappearing and I tried to follow, but the slip was already closing, so I took a few readings and followed you here in the TARDIS and… well, here I am!"
  "You mean you're here in 1981 specifically to rescue me?" Mona asked brightly.
  "Of course!" the Doctor grinned. "Don't worry, Mona, the TARDIS will take us back to 2008 in no time at all, and we can leave right now! Except…"
  "Except what?" Mona asked worriedly.
  "There's something wrong here," the Doctor stated, creasing his brow pensively. "There's some kind of ripple in the space-time continuum… a glitch in time… and I think it's got something to do with you."
  "How can you tell?"
  "Because I'm a Time Lord, remember?"
  "Oh yeah," Mona laughed awkwardly.
  "Mona," the Doctor said gravely, "have you done anything silly whilst you've been hanging out in 1981?"
  "Well," Mona said airily, "I did kinda run into my parents."
  "Your parents?" the Doctor boggled. "What on Earth are they doing here?"
  "Athletics."
  "And what happened when you met them?"
  "Well, I went to watch them in the sports arena and… oh Doctor, I think I might've done a Back to the Future!"
  "Oh dear," the Doctor sighed. "You'd better step into my TARDIS, Mona, and tell me everything."

When Mona had finished relating her tale, she looked at the Doctor expectantly. He didn't seem to be about to say anything, so she took a moment to drink in her surroundings.
  "It looks different in here," she remarked. "Very red. Must get a bit wearing on the eyes after a while."
  "If you really have interfered with your parents' courtship, the universe is in serious danger," the Doctor returned. "I don't need to tell you what would happen – and what wouldn't happen – if you were to be erased from history, do I, Mona? Within a few minutes of your disappearance, the fabric of the cosmos would begin to unravel, and that's no exaggeration! Without you, there would be no universe! We need to sort this mess out!"
  "Well, Doctor, you do have a handy time machine here," Mona pointed out. "Can't we take the TARDIS back in time an hour or so and stop Larry hugging my mom?"
  "We can't cross the timeline we're already on – really bad things would happen!" the Doctor exclaimed. "Trust me, I've seen them…"
  "Oh yeah, I think I remember you mentioning that before," Mona nodded. "Didn't you take Rose back in time to see her father get run over, and she pushed him out of the way…"
  "Yes, and the space-time continuum was almost screwed up forever!" the Doctor declared.
  "But that kind of thing happens to you a lot, doesn't it?" Mona pointed out.
  "Well, yes… but I've never been in a situation quite so much like Back to the Future as this before," the Doctor grinned. "All right, let's think about this… I know there's something wrong here, there's no doubt about that, but maybe it's not as bad as we think. Your parents… are they actually together at this point?"
  "Um, well, kinda," Mona considered. "They only officially got together the summer after they left High School, but I know they'd been flirting and dancing around each other for a couple of years beforehand, what with all the athletics they'd been doing together."
  "The summer after they left High School?" the Doctor queried. "That's this summer! That's now! That's today!"
  "Oh God, I suppose it could be!" Mona realised. "My dad was going to give my mom a huge hug after she'd jumped, but Larry shouldered him out of the way… because I told him to!"
  "We have to find them and assess the damage," the Doctor decided. "Did you say they were in the sports arena?"
  "Yeah."
  "Then lead the way!"

Mona and the Doctor found the sports arena completely deserted, but Mona spotted the tail end of a throng of athletes heading in the direction of the campus cafeteria.
  "Of course!" the Doctor declared. "They'll be hungry and thirsty after all that rigorous physical activity, won't they? Come on, let's go and spy on them!"
The Doctor grabbed Mona's hand and dragged her off in pursuit of the athletes. Once they reached the spacious cafeteria, they scoured the crowded room for any sign of Mona's parents.
  "Ah, there's my dad!" Mona exclaimed. "Oh, he's sitting on his own, and he's looking a bit depressed…"
  "And there's your mum," said the Doctor, indicating a table not far away. "And she's sharing a large bowl of ice cream with a geek… Larry Ripton, I presume?"
  "Yes, that's Larry," Mona sighed heavily. "Oh God, what have I done?"
  "It may not be too late," the Doctor considered. "She doesn't look to me like she's enjoying her ice cream very much, and I'm sure I just saw her cast a longing look at your dad."
  "But it should be his ice cream she's sharing," Mona pointed out, "and it would be, if not for me."
  "Well, we'll just have to put it right, won't we?" the Doctor reasoned. "You may have stopped your parents from getting together this particular afternoon, but they still want each other, Mona… and we just have to make them realise that!"
  "Oh my God!" Mona suddenly exclaimed. "It's Professor Craven!"
  "What, the one they got me to replace?" asked the Doctor. "Which one is he?"
  "The one with the beard and glasses, by the coffee machine," Mona replied. "He's trying to get a drink but all those athletes are in his way. Jesus, he looks exactly the same, except his hair's not grey anymore… I mean yet."
  "Would you move aside, please?" Professor Craven's annoyed tones cut across the cafeteria. "You've been invited to perform sports here, not to be discourteous to the staff!"
  "He's a bit grumpy, isn't he?" the Doctor remarked.
  "Not usually," Mona shrugged. "But you know how annoying it is when you want to use the coffee machine and there's a gang of stupid chavs standing in front of it for no reason."
  "No, not really," the Doctor laughed, "but I'll take your word for it. Now, about getting your parents together… what does it say on that poster over there?"
  "I can't read it from here," said Mona. "We'll have to push our way through and take a look."
Mona and the Doctor barged their way across the room until they came face to face with a large poster that advertised an end-of-event dance for all the visiting athletes, to be held in two days' time.
  "Ah, now, your parents will be going to this, won't they?" the Doctor beamed. "Maybe we can persuade them to go together!"
  "The Enchantment in the Sky dance," Mona mused. "Wait a minute… wait a minute, I know this dance!"
  "Please come dressed as angels, birds, clouds and other things you would find in the sky," the Doctor read off the poster. "Wow, how tacky!"
  "This is where they get together!" Mona declared triumphantly. "Properly, I mean… y'know, officially! I've heard them talking about the Enchantment in the Sky dance so many times, but I never realised it was held here in Chicago!"
  "Ah, then this is the answer we've been looking for!" the Doctor declaimed. "Doubtless your mum and dad would've gone to this dance together if you hadn't intervened and screwed up the timeline, Mona, but it's not too late to sort it out! We've got forty-eight hours to persuade those two lovebirds to go to the dance together, and then the universe will be saved!"
  "Thank God for that," Mona laughed. "I haven't messed things up as much as I thought I had!"
  "Well, there's nothing else we can do this evening," the Doctor reasoned. "We'd better let your mum and dad get a good night's sleep, and then we'll go to work on them in the morning."
  "Okay," Mona agreed. "Oh, but what if my mom… y'know, spends the night… with Larry Ripton?"
  "She won't do that," the Doctor said confidently. "Just look at the expression on her face – she's just not that into him."
  "Then why is she having ice cream with him?"
  "That's something we'll have to ask her tomorrow. Don't worry, Mona, there's no chance of any rumpy-pumpy going on tonight, as least as far as your mother's concerned."
  "Well, that's good to know," Mona frowned. "Hmm, I suppose I should try to catch a few hours' sleep myself. I'll meet you back here in the morning, Doctor, about eight o'clock, okay?"
She turned to leave.
  "Where are you going?" the Doctor asked casually.
  "To my dorm room… except it's not my dorm room, is it?" Mona suddenly realised. "And it won't be my dorm room for twenty-seven years!"
  "It's all right, you can stay in the TARDIS with me," the Doctor reassured her, "but we definitely can't use it to go back to the future until your parents are back together… if you don't get born, Mona, we're all doomed!"

As Mona entered the control room of the TARDIS the next morning, shielding her eyes against the blinding redness of her surroundings, the wooden doors creaked open and the Doctor entered from the outside world.
  "Ah, good, you're up," he remarked approvingly.
  "Pretty comfortable, those sleeping quarters of yours," Mona commented. "I wish I could take that mattress back to my dorm room."
  "Sorry, I can't let you do that," the Doctor grinned. "You never know when I might be needing it. Now, to business – I've just been over to the sports arena for a quick shooftie, and it looks like they're only doing track events this morning."
  "What makes you say that?"
  "The field's being watered, and there's a man wandering around with a garden strimmer. But there's definitely something going on, because all the athletes are starting to arrive, and they're setting up some hurdles on the track. Now, I think there's a pretty good chance of your mum and dad being amongst the spectators on that grassy bank where you messed up the space-time continuum, don't you?"
  "Um, yes, I suppose so," Mona considered. "Unless they're doing something else… maybe my mom's gone to a movie or something with Larry Ripton."
  "I bet they'll both be there on the bank, cheering on their classmates!" the Doctor declared optimistically. "Anyway, even if they're not, we'd better go and check. I suggest we take one parent each, and persuade them that they want to go to the Enchantment in the Sky dance with each other."
  "Oh, what a great plan, I'm sure it'll be easy!" Mona laughed. "Will you take my mom? I… I can't really talk to her… not about this kind of thing."
  "Well, all right," the Doctor agreed, "although she'd probably be more likely to open up to you about her real feelings for Larry."
  "Do you really think so?"
  "Yes, I do, mainly because you're a girl, like her, and girls enjoy talking to each other about their feelings. But also, you're her daughter, and that means she'll feel more inclined to be honest with you than she would with me."
  "But I'm not her daughter yet," Mona pointed out. "As far as eighteen-year-old Miranda West is concerned, I'm just some student here at the University of Illinois."
  "Ah, but it's not as simple as that," the Doctor said knowingly. "Parents always know their children, even if they haven't had them yet. Family ties are always picked up on, even in one's own past. In Back to the Future, Lorraine mistook the syndrome for having the hots for Marty, which is an unfortunate yet understandable assumption that long-separated siblings often make as well. In Back to the Future Part Three, Seamus describes the phenomenon to Maggie in his own, crude way…"
  "Ah, then by that logic, my dad will be more likely to open up to me as well!" Mona declared triumphantly.
  "True," the Doctor admitted, "but I thought he might feel more comfortable talking to a fellow chap."
  "Well, I'd feel more comfortable talking to my dad, if you don't mind," Mona said firmly.
  "All right," the Doctor agreed, "but you'll have to have a go at your mum if I can't get anything out of her. Deal?"
  "Okay," Mona shrugged. "You know, Doctor, I think I've experienced this family ties phenomenon before. When I was stuck in 1993 for a while investigating a murder, the younger version of my dad seemed to recognise me on some level, and he kept saying he had this weird feeling that we knew each other."
  "Yes, that's exactly the kind of thing I've been talking about," the Doctor nodded. "Right, that's enough chat – we'd better get to the track."